The Price of Knowledge

 

Story Notes:

See Chapter One

Chapter Twelve

Hiding

 

             God, the woman was brilliant, Jack thought with admiration.  Allyssa Michaels was about to lead Elaine Rosenberg on a hunt for undomesticated waterfowl, as Teal’c would say.  One glimpse of Allyssa’s simpering, ditzy act, and anyone in the SGC would know to be suspicious of Allyssa’s companion.  Between Allyssa and Janet, it wouldn’t take long for the SGC gossip to spread.  Elaine was going to find herself stone-walled, SGC-style.  Jack grinned.

             The only thing Jack detested about Hammond’s plan was the forced delay in finding Daniel.  The kid had had enough time alone with his wild imagination to come up with scenarios that would be far more frightening than the reality.

             No one knew Daniel’s hideouts as well as Jack did.  But that had been the adult Daniel.  This was a scared kid who might not remember those five years of roaming corridors in an attempt to fight off sleep.

             Jack began to roam as well, thinking it through.  The kid was scared.  Safety seemed to be a big thing for him right now.  Janet had said he’d seek out places that gave him a feeling of security.  So he’d hide somewhere where he felt safe.  But smart cookie that he was, he’d know Elaine was looking him, so he’d also find a place out of the way, instead of the obvious choices like Jack’s office or Carter’s lab.

             Jack tried to remember where Daniel the adult had hidden out when he was scared.  Trouble was, he hardly ever saw Daniel scared.  If Daniel were lonely, depressed, or angry, Jack would have no problem finding him.  But scared?  Sure, Daniel got scared—for his team, for the Stargate program, for Earth.  But for himself?  If Daniel had ever gotten scared for himself, he’d never let anyone else see it.

             Yet, strangely enough, Jack’s feet had taken him to a possibility.  Jack stared at the gray door to a storage room.

             Surely not.  Not after what had happened in there—or almost happened.

             But Daniel had been scared that time.  Paranoid, irrational, and terrified, because the sarcophagus addiction had completely whacked out his hormones.  According to Janet, Daniel didn’t always remember events, especially ones that involved him personally, but he did remember the emotional impact.  So here, in this storage closet, Daniel had felt scared, yes, but he had ended up in Jack’s arms, sobbing his heart out, while Jack held him for a long time and assured him over and over that he was safe, that they were there for him, that they’d take care of him and help him through it, that he would never, ever be alone.  So even though Jack had avoided the storage room since that day because it was the place where he’d watched his best friend fall to pieces, maybe Daniel remembered it as a place where his friend had held him together.

             Jack opened the door and called softly, “Daniel?  It’s me.”

             There was no answer, but he heard a scuffling sound.  He stuck his head farther into the room and saw a light bobbing near the back.  He wondered where Daniel had gotten a hold of the flashlight.  He stepped into the room, flipped on the light switch, and closed the door behind him. 

             When he passed the last shelf of supplies, he stopped and looked down.  Daniel was tucked in the corner, knees clasped to his chest, his face tear-stained, and the left shoulder of his shirt smeared with snot.  His skin had that faint white glow again, and it wasn’t hard to tell why.  A miniature sun, the size of a golf ball, bobbed above Daniel’s head as if suspended on an invisible string.

             “Sweet.”  Jack gestured to the glowing ball.  “Yours?”

             “I guess.”  Daniel sniffed and turned his head enough to wipe his dripping nose against his left shoulder.  “I couldn’t reach the light switch.”

             Jack found a box of tissues on a supply shelf, ripped into it, and handed a tissue to Daniel.  The kid rubbed the tissue under his nose and then tilted his head back to stare at the sphere of light bouncing in mid-air.

             “Shifu doesn’t like it, but he can’t make it go away.  He says I did something to it, so it’ll only go away when I tell it to.  I tried, but I don’t know how.”  He slanted a glance toward Jack.  “Guess I don’t need it now.”

             With that, the ball of light faded, and Daniel’s skin returned to its normal color.  Daniel stared at the spot where the light had been and then turned his gaze inward as if viewing the inside of his brain.

             “Oh.  I get it.”  The kid looked baffled.  “That’s…easy.”

             Jack frowned but decided against discussing what Daniel did or did not remember of his ascension.

             “Can I sit with you?”

             Daniel nodded.  Jack settled on the floor, and Daniel hitched himself over so he could lean his head on Jack’s shoulder.  Jack wrapped an arm around the kid, pulling him closer still.

             “Comfy?”  Daniel nodded again, pressed as tight against Jack as he could get without actually climbing into Jack’s lap.  “Good.  Cuz we’ll be here awhile.  Until Doctor Rosenberg leaves.”

             “Without me?” Daniel whispered.

             Jack snorted and squeezed Daniel’s shoulders.  “Of course, without you.  I wouldn’t turn Mr. Wilson’s dog over to that woman, and you know how much I hate that damn dog.  Always barking at anyone who walks by.”

             “I was scared.”

             Jack closed his eyes.  “I know, Daniel.  It’s okay.”

             They let the silence speak for them.  Words weren’t always necessary.  Daniel’s breathing deepened.  For a minute, Jack thought the kid had fallen asleep.

             “Jack?”

             “Daniel?”

             “When I was big, did I ever get scared?”

             Although Jack had recently been pondering that same question, he knew the answer Daniel needed.  “Everyone gets scared.  Big, little, doesn’t matter.”

             “Even you?”

             Jack remembered a few of the times when fear had paralyzed him.  Watching Daniel rage in a sarcophagus-induced addiction.  Watching Daniel cower in the corner of a padded white room.  Watching Daniel clutch at his balcony railing, seconds away from jumping.  Watching Daniel die or almost die again…and again…and again…

Jack swallowed.  “Oh, yeah.  I’ve been scared plenty of times, Dannyboy.”

             “Even Teal’c?”

             “Oh, well, maybe not Teal’c.  It’s the tattoo.  Scares everyone else away.  I’m thinking about getting one myself.  What do you think?”

             “Jack!”  Daniel giggled.

             “We could get matching tattoos.  Maybe talk Carter and Jonas into joining us.”

             “J-j-ja--”  Daniel was giggling so hard, he couldn’t get Jack’s name out a second time.

             “How about a catchy saying?”  Jack held up his hands as if framing the words.  “Let’s see.  ‘Humans rule, snakes drool.’  Too long, maybe?”

             Daniel nodded.  The giggling had transformed to outright laughter.

             “I guess that leaves out ‘We saved the Asgaard’s little, gray butts.’”

             Daniel hiccuped and breathed deeply for a minute to bring both hiccups and laughter under control.  He was still grinning widely though.  “It should say, ‘Bite me!’”

             “Oooh, good one.  Wish I’d thought of it.” 

             “You did.  You said it to that boss guy on Nyan’s planet.  Rigar?”

             Jack nodded and ruffled Daniel’s hair.  “That’s right.  And you said it to Apophis.”

             “I did?”

             “Every time you freaking looked at him.”

             “Well, he was a bad man.”  Daniel nuzzled his head against Jack’s shoulder.  “Rigar was a bad man too.  He kept hurting you and Sam.”

             Daniel’s tone was reflective.  Despite the topic of discussion, he didn’t seem upset.  Jack noticed Daniel hadn’t mentioned the hour or so Rigar had tortured Daniel, an incident that had registered a six on Jack’s personal “times I was shit-scared” scale and upped to a nine when Daniel hadn’t even given his standard “I’m fine” response when Carter asked him how he was afterwards.  For a good month following that mission, Daniel’s nightmares had been more intense than usual, and it had taken a week of persistent, not-so-subtle prying before Jack discovered why Daniel woke every time screaming, “You’ll kill him!  Turn it off!  Turn it off!”  Jack had to admit there were moments when Daniel’s faulty memory was a blessing.

             “I don’t ’member what I did while he was hurting you.”

             “You did the right thing.  You stuck to the story, even though you were scared for us.”  He gave the kid another hug.  “It’s okay to be scared, Daniel.  As long as it doesn’t stop you from doing what needs to be done.”

             Daniel snuggled closer and yawned hard.  His eyelids drooped.  “Jack?”

             “What?” Jack said quietly, watching Daniel’s eyes close.

             “When I grow up this time…” he yawned again and finished in a mumble, “I wanna be brave.”

             Ouch.  Most kids wanted to be firemen or police officers or TV characters, but not his kid.  Daniel just wanted to be brave.  He wanted a reason to stop being scared.  And Jack?  He wanted what every parent wanted.  To make the world the safest possible place so his kid could grow up happy.

             Jack bent, kissed the top of Daniel’s head, and whispered, “You’re the bravest kid I know.”  ¤

 

 

 

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Disclaimer:  The Stargate characters all belong to Gekko Film Company, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions, MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Showtime, Sci Fi Channel, and Stargate SG-1 Prod. Ltd. Partnership.  This fanfic is not intended to infringe on any of those rights and is meant solely for the purpose of entertainment.  All other characters, the story idea, and the story itself are the sole property of the author.