The Price of Knowledge

 

Story Notes:

See Chapter One

 

Chapter Four

Shopping

 

             The mall fascinated Daniel.  Wide-eyed, he clung to Jack’s hand, dragging Jack forward whenever he wanted to see something, demanding names for whatever he didn’t recognize, oblivious as usual to the strange looks his outfit engendered.

Daniel’s memory continued to prove erratic.  There was no predicting which words he would remember.  He didn’t know what a shirt was called, but he identified the Star Wars characters on one, surprising Jack with his excited, “Look!  We watch-ted Star Wars with Teal’c.  Lots and lotsa times!  Can I get a Star Wars one, Jack?  Can I, please?”

             At other times, the plethora of choices seemed to overwhelm Daniel, and when Jack asked for an opinion, Daniel would only shrug.  His moods were equally erratic.  He chattered nonstop with some salespeople while others sent him scurrying to hide behind Jack’s leg.  Jack remembered what Shifu had said about children’s sensitivity to the energy around them.

             Daniel had forgotten more than words.  Some activities were beyond him.  After a little prompting, he remembered how to dress himself, but tying shoes and buttoning buttons frustrated him to the point of tears.  Jack calmed him by finding jeans with snaps and shoes with vinyl straps and by suggesting T-shirts, which could be pulled on easily.  Daniel selected the T-shirts himself.  Jack laughed when he saw the assortment of bright colors and cartoon characters.

             “Not your usual choices, Dannyboy.”

             “Are they okay?  I like them.”

             “If you like them, they’re more than okay.”

             Jack had tried to keep the shopping simple, figuring he could send Carter for more stuff in a day or two, but just getting Daniel essentials and clothes for a week took two hours.  Another half hour produced toys like Matchbox cars, Lego sets, coloring books, and crayons so Daniel wouldn’t be bored while Jack was working.  Jack left Daniel perusing the early-grade readers while he stepped over three aisles and found a backpack for the toys.  By the time Jack returned, Daniel had moved to the young adult books.  Jack stopped in mid-aisle, suddenly struck by the realization that even though Daniel was thirty years younger, Jack still knew every nuance on Daniel’s face.  The puzzled look that pinched Daniel’s forehead as he paged through a book was his “this can’t be right” expression.

             “What’s the problem?” Jack asked.  He came closer and put his hand on Daniel’s shoulder.

             “I know all these words.  I ’member what they mean.”  Daniel craned his head back.  “How come I know words when I read them, but I can’t ’member them when I look at things?”

             Jack shrugged.  “I got nothing, Daniel.  You’ll have to ask Doctor Janet.”

             “Okay.  When can we see her again?” Daniel asked, but Jack caught the “I’m not really listening at the moment” look on Daniel’s face and didn’t bother to answer.  “How many books can I get?”

             “As many as you want,” Jack answered.  He could have kicked himself when Daniel raised an eyebrow, proceeded to stack five of the thicker books, and hefted the whole pile.  The kid could barely see over the pile.  As he headed toward their cart, he spied another book on the shelf, shifted his pile to balance precariously on one arm, and reached.  Jack saved the pile before it toppled.  He dumped the books on top of the backpack, the toys, and the bags from the other stores.  Daniel sheepishly handed over the book from the shelf.

             “I think six should be enough, don’t you?”

             “I like books.”  Daniel scuffed the toe of his new tennis shoe against the floor and jumped when it squeaked.

             “So we’ll get more after you finish these.”

             “Really?  Thanks, Jack!”  Daniel latched onto Jack’s leg and squeezed.

             Jack chuckled.  “Come on, sport.  Let’s get this stuff bought before Carter and Teal’c send out a search party for us.”

             Something flickered over Daniel’s face, transforming the joyful gratitude into sober contemplation.  Jack knew that one too.  The “I’m bothered by something, but I need to think it out before I discuss it” expression.

             He scooped Daniel up and settled him in the cart’s child seat.  Daniel had to be small for his age; he was incredibly light.  Jack was certain Charlie had been much heavier and taller at age six than Daniel was.

             By the time they reached the checkout, Daniel had returned to his normal, inquisitive self.  His head swung back and forth as he tried to look everywhere at once.  Jack wondered if he’d get tired of hearing “What’s that, Jack?” every five seconds.  Right now, the thrill of Daniel’s presence overrode any other emotion.

             Daniel quieted while they were waiting in the checkout line.  He was leaning slightly to one side, his gaze focused behind Jack.  Jack peeked over his shoulder.  A young man and woman were jabbering at each other in a foreign language.  Neither looked pleased with the conversation.  Daniel’s fingers snagged Jack’s sleeve and started worrying at the fabric.  Jack glanced down.  Daniel was still staring, his face puckering anxiously.  Jack tapped Daniel’s chin to bring the boy’s gaze to him.

             “It’s not polite to stare,” he murmured.

             Daniel bit his lower lip, darting one last look to the couple.

             “Daniel?  What’s wrong?”

             The words rushed out.  “Am I too esspensive?”

             “Huh?  What?  No, of course not.  Whatever gave you that idea?”

             Daniel indicated the couple behind them with a jerk of his chin.  “The girl wants a baby, but the boy says kids are esspensive and they cost too much money, and you’re buying all these things for me, so I thought if I was too esspensive, you might not want me, but if we put some things back--”

             Jack pressed his fingers to Daniel’s lips to halt the outburst.  “I want you.  Nothing ever changes that.  Nothing.  You got it?”

             Daniel nodded, but as soon as Jack lifted his fingers, Daniel offered hesitantly, “We could put some of the books back.”

             “Absolutely not.”  He ruffled Daniel’s hair and teased, “Did you worry this much when you were a kid the first time around?”

             The question sidetracked Daniel nicely.  He pondered it for the entire time it took to make their purchases.

             As Jack steered the cart out of the mall, Daniel announced peevishly, “I don’t ’member anything about being a kid.”

             Jack transferred bags from the cart to the truck.  “Well, you remember some things, even if you don’t realize it.  You understood that couple behind us.  You know what language they were speaking?”

             “No.”

             “Sounded like French to me.  You told me once you learned that one as a kid.”

             “Really?”  Daniel considered that.  Jack adjusted Daniel on his hip and pushed the emptied cart into the corral.  “I don’t know any French words though.”

             “You know them when you hear them.”

             “I guess.”

             “It’s like the reading then.”  Jack shrugged a shoulder.  “Selective memory.  When we get to the SGC tomorrow, you can try reading a couple languages and speaking to one of the linguists and see what happens.  I’m hungry.  How ’bout you?”

             Daniel nodded and bounced on the truck seat.  Jack checked his watch.

             “Let’s do drive through.  Any suggestions, sport?”

             He had reached over for Daniel’s seat buckle and felt Daniel still beneath him.  Sensing Daniel’s distress, he drew back.

             “Please don’t call me that,” Daniel said in his earnest, mini-adult tone.

             “Huh?”  Jack wasn’t sure what had caused Daniel’s reaction.

             Daniel must have seen Jack’s confusion because he added quietly, “Sport was Charlie’s nickname.”

             Jack’s heart stuttered as it tried to decide if it should stop completely or jump out of his chest.

             “I’m not Charlie,” Daniel continued.  “I can’t replace him, Jack.  It’ll be easier if you don’t call me…what you called him.”

             Jack wasn’t sure he could breathe, much less think.  God, how long had it been since someone had shocked him speechless?  Probably about a year, his brain informed him when it began to catch up.  And it was probably Daniel who had done it then too.  Daniel had always had the ability to toss out obscure comments that would knock Jack sideways and force him to reevaluate whether the position he once thought was immovable actually was.

             “You remember Charlie,” Jack whispered.  Why had that memory remained, when so many others were gone?

             “I ’member you, Jack.”  Daniel pulled the seat belt across his lap and glanced up to give Jack a self-depreciating smile.  “I think I ’member more about you than I do about me.”

             Jack snapped the buckle into place.  “Why’s that?”

             He regretted the question as soon as he asked it.  Daniel hugged his arms over his chest and hunched his shoulders.  He turned his face away to stare out the window, but not before Jack had caught sight of the haunted look in Daniel’s eyes.  When Jack tried to coax him into talking, Daniel retreated further into himself and didn’t answer.  When Jack tried to touch him, Daniel recoiled and huddled as much as the seat belt would allow.  Jack ached to see Daniel curled into a ball of misery, but he took the hint and left the kid alone with his silence.

Ten minutes later, Jack glanced sidelong to see if Daniel would be willing to offer an opinion about what he wanted to eat and found Daniel asleep.  He was slumped sideways, his head supported by the door, his mouth half-open.  Yet his face hadn’t relaxed.  His forehead was still scrunched fretfully.  Even in sleep, the kid couldn’t get a break.  Jack reached over and cupped Daniel’s neck, stroking his thumb along the nape.

             “I’d make it all go away if I could, Daniel,” he murmured to the sleeping boy.

             Carter and Teal’c were eating a late lunch at Jack’s dining room table when Jack carried Daniel into the house.  Seeing Daniel asleep, they hushed their voices.

             “Back in a few,” Jack mouthed.

             After Daniel’s ascension, the SGC had cleared his apartment.  Most of the furniture had been sold, but Jack had everything else boxed up and transferred to the spare bedroom in his house.  With all the books, artifacts, and journals that Daniel owned, it had made an impressive collection of boxes.  The room looked barren now that Teal’c had moved the boxes to the garage.

             Jack deposited Daniel on the bed.  The boy muttered and twisted until his knees were tucked against his chest.  He looked uncomfortable, drawn up in a tight knot.  Jack lowered himself to the edge of the bed and gently massaged Daniel’s rigid muscles.

             As he worked on relaxing Daniel, Jack looked around the room.  He’d stopped calling it the spare bedroom years ago.  In his mind, it was Daniel’s room.  The papers scattered over the desk, the stack of archaeology digests beside the bed, the books and artifacts on the bookshelf, the clothes in the bureau and closet were all Daniel’s.  He had come over so often, convalescing after a mission or just hanging out, that the stuff had accumulated.  Daniel had taken the room over.

 

Back to Chapter 3                                                                                                Chapter 4, cont.>>

Back to Little Danny Home 

 

 

 

Disclaimer:  The Stargate characters all belong to Gekko Film Company, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions, MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Showtime, Sci Fi Channel, and Stargate SG-1 Prod. Ltd. Partnership.  This fanfic is not intended to infringe on any of those rights and is meant solely for the purpose of entertainment.  All other characters, the story idea, and the story itself are the sole property of the author.