Stories by
Danielle
Story Notes:
Type: angst, drama
Rating: PG
Length: 5100 words
A/N: This series continues the story told in The Price of Knowledge novel.
Rules and Consequences
The Burden of Power #1
The tea kettle splintered the morning silence with a piercing whistle. Jack paused in his shaving to call, “Daniel! Get that, wouldja?”
A moment later, the tea kettle was silent. Jack finished quickly, the memory of yesterday’s disaster still vivid in his mind. Breakfast was a dangerous business in his household. He jogged into the dining room just in time to see a mug filled with steaming water float from the kitchen. Jack plucked the mug out of mid-air and turned a scowl on Daniel.
“I thought I told you not to do that.”
Daniel looked up from piling strawberry jam on his toast. “I stopped the orange juice first.”
As he spoke, the jug suspended in mid-air in front of him tipped downward and completed its interrupted task of pouring orange juice into a glass. Yesterday, the combined task of orange-juice-pouring and hot-water-pouring had resulted in both liquids on the floor. Daniel’s control wasn’t as refined as he liked to believe.
Jack watched the jug hover and then settle safely onto the table. Following a yearlong stint in Oma’s Glow Worm Club, Daniel had been descended almost two months ago as a six year old with only scattered memories of the years before his ascension. However, he had returned with almost all of the knowledge and abilities of his ascended self. He took the term “gifted child” to an entirely new level. His appointed guardian, one Colonel Jack O’Neill, was still struggling to come to grips with the odd occurrences that were now a part of their daily lives.
Jack slid into a chair next to Daniel. Daniel extended a sticky finger and touched the underside of Jack’s chin. A tingling warmth spread over the area. When Daniel pulled away with a satisfied smile, Jack rubbed at the spot until both the tingles and the stickiness were gone.
“What was that?”
“You were bleeding.” Daniel shrugged, bit into his jam-laden toast, and mumbled through a mouthful, “I fixed it.”
Jack sighed and decided to change the subject. “You’re gonna rot your teeth with all that jam.”
Daniel offered a cheeky grin. “You’re the adult. Do something about it.”
Jack sighed again. Daniel looked six—actually, younger than six since he was a short, scrawny kid—but the few adult memories still in place in that six-year-old brain were enough to make him sound and act older. Lately, they were manifesting in a “push the boundaries” game that Jack knew he’d have to crack down on pretty soon. If he could figure out how. He liked his furniture. The temper tantrum of a once-ascended child was bound to be destructive.
“Watch the mouth,” he warned.
The reprimand served its purpose. Daniel apologized, hunching his shoulders. The way Daniel became instantly ashamed of misbehavior was another reason Jack hadn’t proceeded to sterner measures.
Jack added a scoop of instant coffee to his mug of hot water. Daniel made a face.
“Eww. That’s so gross, Jack.”
Daniel was only allowed coffee on special occasions, but his adult tastes had apparently descended with the rest of him. He had very specific ideas on what constituted good coffee, and the instant stuff was a definite no-no.
“Yeah, well, the coffee grinder’s still broke.”
Daniel bit his lip, the earlier look of shame intensifying.
Last week, Daniel had used his “powers” in an attempt to speed up the coffee grinder. Jack had arrived on the scene moments after the smoke alarm blared. They’d taken the machine to Carter, who examined its melted innards and declared it dead. Guilt-stricken, Daniel spent the entire morning composing an apology. While Daniel was engaged in “the hour of physical activity” with Teal’c, Jack tracked down Doctor Allyssa Michaels, head of the linguistics department who was responsible for most of Daniel’s schooling, and asked her to decipher the note. First, because Daniel was still re-learning how to write and his handwriting was atrocious. And second, as Ally soon informed him, because it consisted of various forms of “I’m sorry” written in twenty-some different languages, Daniel’s multilingualism being one of the few adult skills that Daniel had retained.
Remembering the solemnity with Daniel had handed over the note, Jack knew there was another reason why he hadn’t imposed discipline yet. Sooner or later, Daniel punished himself far more stringently than anyone else could.
“If I knew how it worked, I could fix it,” Daniel said.
“I told you, it’s no big deal. We’ll buy a new one next time I’m off. I can drink this stuff till then. It’s no different than the commissary coffee.”
Daniel gave an exaggerated shudder. He had strong opinions about the commissary coffee too.
Jack poured himself a bowl of cereal and waited while Daniel floated the milk over to him. “Thanks. How’d it go yesterday?”
Yesterday had marked SG-1’s first mission since Daniel’s return. It was a quick look-see, ten hours at the most. Jack had dropped Daniel off at Janet’s house in the morning and then picked up his sleepy kid late last evening. Daniel still wasn’t ready for a sleepover. Neither was Jack.
“Good. Cassie and I played lots of games, and when Janet got home, she made pa-sketti for supper, ’cept it wasn’t as good as yours, but I didn’t tell her that cuz that wouldn’t have been nice. And, Jack, guess what? Cassie said when I was big, I was a doctor three times!”
His mouth full of cereal, Jack could only grunt in response.
Daniel nodded hard. “Yep. Of ark-ology and ant-apology and filligy. Ally’s a doctor of filligy too, isn’t she?”
“That’s why she’s the linguine head.”
Daniel rolled his eyes. “Linguistics, Jack. You should say words right so I don’t pick up bad habits. You always tell everyone I’m a ’pressionable child. How come you say things wrong all the time anyway?”
“Reverse psychology. Every time I pronounce something wrong, you correct me and get it right.”
Daniel opened his mouth as if to refute that statement and froze, the realization slowly dawning over his face that Jack was right. Jack grinned. It was always good when he reduced Daniel to speechlessness.
Jack’s triumph was short-lived. Daniel gave himself a little shake and recovered his vocal chords with his usual rapidity. “Cassie told Janet she was never going to be three doctors, no way José, so Janet better not get used to the idea. And I asked why not, and she said it was too much work. So I asked how come I did it if it was so much work, and Janet said it musta been cuz I liked learning lots. And I do, Jack! Janet and Cassie told me all about school, and I think I should prob’ly go so I can be three doctors ’gain. Can I go to school? Huh? Can I please?”
Daniel blinked, blue eyes all wide and innocent.
And it was so not a good idea. Without even pondering it, Jack could think of a half dozen problems with the school scenario. Daniel loved to talk, and he knew stuff—classified stuff. Daniel was practically classified himself. The NID were still harping about how Daniel’s ascended knowledge needed to be studied and contained. They’d go ballistic at the thought of Daniel unsupervised in a public setting. Not that Jack cared much about the NID’s opinions, but he wasn’t sure he himself was ready for Daniel to venture out on his own.
Jack hedged, “I thought you liked learning at the SGC.”
“I do! Janet teaches me ’bout my body, and Sam teaches me ’bout computers and math and science stuff, and Ally teaches me writing and history, and Jonas teaches me ’bout the aliens you visit, and Teal’c teaches me how to exercise right and how to fall so I don’t get hurt. And Siler lets me help him fix things. The SGC’s lotsa fun. But…”
“But?”
Daniel gnawed on his lower lip for a moment and then said in a rush, “There aren’t any other kids there.”
#
Jack managed to put off the school issue by explaining that summer wasn’t school time anyway and promising to ask
At the SGC, he left Daniel happily chattering with Ally and headed to the infirmary for his own little “talk” with Doc Frasier.
“School, Doc?” he drawled, leaning against the door jamb of her office.
Janet’s face took on a tint almost as red as her hair as she turned in her desk chair to face him. “He saw Cassie looking through college catalogs and asked. You know how Daniel gets when he starts asking questions.”
Jack sighed. He knew. Daniel was a thorough, take-no-prisoners interrogator. “He’s not going to let me forget this, you know.”
“I’m not sure he should.”
“School, Janet,” he repeated, dropping heavily into a nearby chair.
“He needs children his own age.”
Jack knew that. He’d heard it in Daniel’s voice. It didn’t make it any easier. He growled in frustration. “How would they even place him? He reads like a high schooler, writes like a first grader, does math like a third grader, and thinks like—God, I don’t know what he thinks like.”
“I’m not suggesting a mainstream school, Colonel. I still think the bulk of Daniel’s learning should be done here where we can individualize it to his needs, but the social interaction isn’t something we can give him.” She fished through a stack of papers on her desk and drew out a pamphlet. “I’ve found a summer program for gifted children. It’s just three weeks. You and Daniel could both ease into it. See how it goes.”
Jack shook his head. “It wouldn’t work. He can’t go an hour without doing his little hocus-pocus thing.”
“He hasn’t had a reason to try. I think if you explain why he can’t use his ascended knowledge outside the SGC and ask him to help you set some rules and consequences, he’ll be inclined to go along with it.” She gazed at him for a moment and then said gently, “We can’t keep him in our little bubble forever.”
Jack grimaced, caught out by her insight. He’d lost—or thought he’d lost—Daniel so many times, it was hard to watch Daniel assert his independence. Jack knew he had a protective streak miles long, especially now that Daniel was a kid. Not just any kid, but Jack’s kid. He also knew he couldn’t keep Daniel wrapped in cotton and hidden from the world forever.
With a heavy sigh, he took the pamphlet Janet offered him.
#
Daniel was ecstatic when Jack proposed the idea that evening. He danced around the living room and flickered the lights in the house and squeezed Jack’s neck until Jack declared himself bruised. When Daniel finally calmed, they discussed the need for some rules and consequences. Instead of the tantrum Jack anticipated, Daniel nodded like it was the most reasonable thing in the world.
“I gotta have a secret identity. Like Spiderman. He had superpowers like me, but he couldn’t tell no one.” Daniel struck a pose and intoned, “ ‘With great power comes great responsibility.’”
Jack lifted an eyebrow. “Where in the world did you learn about Spiderman?”
“Doctor Lee’s got a bunch of comic books in his desk.”
“And you’ve read them? Really?”
Daniel nodded placidly. “I’m a ’pressionable child. I’ll read anything.”
“But… comic books?” Jack simply could not picture any version of Daniel, young or old, reading comic books. Huge, musty textbooks, yes. Comic books, no.
When they discussed the need for keeping classified information like the Stargate a secret, Daniel shrugged. “I knew that. Cuz the SGC is like Hogwarts and the people who don’t work there are like Muggles, and you can’t tell Muggles about magic stuff like the Stargate. They wouldn’t believe you anyway.”
Jack floundered. When had he lost control of this conversation? “Muggles? Hog-whatsit?”
“Hogwarts. You know? From Harry Potter. Doctor Felger was using a copy of the book as a paperweight, so I borrowed it and read it. When we go buy a new coffee grinder, let’s get the next book, ’kay?”
“I obviously need to keep a closer tab on your reading habits.”
“Ya think? Hey, wanna see me do magic? I don’t even need to say stupid words.” A few seconds later, Daniel’s backpack appeared out of thin air and plopped lightly into Daniel’s lap. He dug inside it and pulled out a battered notebook. “I’ll make the rules, ’kay, Jack?”
Daniel had obviously considered the matter at some point because within an hour, he presented a list of ten rules and five punishments. Jack translated the hardly-legible handwriting and found himself impressed. Daniel’s rules were sensible and covered most of the points Jack had in mind. The punishments, however, needed some revising. Jack explained that he would never force Daniel to a week of bread and water, send Daniel to an orphanage, or ask Hammond to put a snake in Daniel’s head for any length of time, not even if Daniel were very, very, very bad. Daniel was glad to accept Jack’s suggestions for alternative punishments. Jack rewrote everything and hung the new copy on the refrigerator, more for his sake than Daniel’s, since Daniel promptly memorized the whole thing.
They spent the next week registering Daniel for the program and practicing their new set-up of rules and consequences. Jack remembered Charlie having trouble with cause and effect. He never seemed to understand that if he did this, then Dad would do this. Daniel, on the other hand, caught onto the concept right away and then proceeded to test it. In the first three days of that week, he deliberately broke every single rule at least once. Others, he broke more often, working his way through the list of consequences. Jack was certain the rule-breaking was intentional since Daniel never protested his punishment. Instead, he seemed happy when Jack carried through. Just when Jack was ready to tear out what remained of his hair and cancel the whole school idea, Daniel settled down. It was almost a relief when he started crying, pouting, and deal-making to get out of punishments just like any normal kid.
The day finally arrived. Jack had done everything possible to ensure Daniel’s safety. He met with Mrs. Travis, the program supervisor, and arranged background checks on her and the two women who assisted her. He left a page filled with phone numbers where he or other SGC personnel could be reached immediately in case of emergencies. He stressed the importance of checking IDs against the list of people who were approved to pick up Daniel in Jack’s stead. After being intimidated by Jack’s overtly military precautions, Mrs. Travis probably expected either a pathetically spoiled child or a kid inhibited by his guardian’s domineering nature. Instead, Daniel was pleasant and polite when they were introduced, although shivering with suppressed excitement at the thought of “school.”
The program was four hours in the afternoon. Jack had persuaded
By the end of the week, Jack had relaxed, and when Daniel asked permission to bring a friend home, Jack agreed without hesitation.
#
On the day of the friend’s visit,
Daniel didn’t seem to notice the trail of mud left in his wake anymore than he noticed the weight of the overloaded backpack slung over one shoulder. The hand not anchoring the backpack in place was engaged in its usual activity, providing counterpoint as Daniel talked a mile a minute. Connor listened gravely, either in awe of Daniel’s monologue or simply unable to get a word in. The two boys headed toward Daniel’s bedroom in something of a jog, “on” being Daniel’s typical speed as opposed to “off” which Jack witnessed only when Daniel was asleep.
“Daniel!” Jack called. “Door.”
A moment later, the front door gently snicked shut.
Jack sighed. He should have expected that. When Daniel was excited, the rules tended to slip out of his mind completely.
“Daniel!” he yelled again.
From the vicinity of Daniel’s bedroom came an aggrieved “Jack!” which Jack interpreted as “Can’t you just let it slide this once?”
“Daniel,” he repeated in a tone that meant, “Don’t make me come get you.”
A minute later, Daniel shuffled into the living room. Jack had forgotten about this speed, the “if I drag my feet, maybe Jack will forget why I’m in trouble by the time I get there” speed. Not likely.
“Rule one, Daniel.”
“Jack!” Daniel whined.
Jack waited, letting Daniel decide how he wanted to play this. After their trial week, Daniel had decided reciting the rules was the worst punishment of all. Jack knew he shouldn’t have been surprised about that. For Daniel, the power of words was a potent, living thing. The next step was the time-out chair, which Daniel also hated with a passion. Ten minutes of enforced silence and inactivity was a torture greater than any other Daniel could imagine. Jack, who remembered quite a few tortures with Daniel as the leading victim, was grateful beyond words that Daniel had lost those memories.
Daniel heaved a sigh and gave in. “I have two hands and two feet. I might as well use them.”
They’d moved that one to the top of their list of rules because it was the hardest for Daniel to follow. The things Daniel could do the regular “hands and feet” way were also the easiest ones for Daniel to do the “ascended” way. He did them without thought. It was like asking Daniel to stop breathing.
Jack hated it. He hated limiting Daniel’s potential. Daniel loved knowledge in all forms, and he delighted in having that little extra tucked away in his brain. Jack hated denying Daniel that pleasure.
Of course, he would also hate for the NID to start poking their noses into Daniel’s life or for the kids at “school” to reject Daniel as a freak.
“And rule two, Daniel.”
Daniel scuffed a foot on the rug, loosing another pile of mud flakes. Jack let the mess go in favor of dealing with the current offense.
“No ascended stuff around other people,” Daniel whispered. “I’m sorry, Jack.”
Jack leaned forward and tousled Daniel’s hair. “I know you are. Let’s just try to think before we act, right?”
Daniel nodded miserably.
“Okay, buddy. Punishment’s over. There’s pop in the fridge when you and Connor want some, but drink it in the kitchen and not in your room. Got that?”
“Yes, sir!” Daniel grinned, delivered a sloppy salute, and dashed back to his bedroom.
#
The call Jack had always expected came two days later. Jack thanked whatever divine deity was watching over him that he wasn’t off world at the time. Cell phone lodged against his ear, Jack was in the elevator before Mrs. Travis finished saying, “There was an accident.” A brief inquisition later, Jack determined that it was Connor, not Daniel, who had fallen from the playground equipment and broken his wrist. Daniel had been present, sent another playmate for help, and kept Connor calm until Mrs. Travis arrived. After the ambulance left, Mrs. Travis searched for Daniel, who had disappeared, and found him huddled in the coat room. He had refused to speak or even look at her.
“Daniel is such a favorite here that his reaction is upsetting everyone,” Mrs. Travis whispered as she ushered Jack past a group of subdued children. “Daniel’s always the peacemaker, always the one to understand both points of view. Even the older children listen to him.”
That didn’t surprise Jack. Daniel could talk to anyone, whether it was an Unas intent on eating him or a big fish alien intent on sucking out his brain. Daniel really hadn’t changed that much. Sure, he was six. He laughed a lot more and worked a lot less. But deep inside, he was still the Daniel who had wormed his way into Jack’s hardened heart years ago and kept the SGC on the straight and narrow whenever there was a choice between people and technology. He was still considerate of others and passionate about his beliefs. Jack had no doubt Daniel had settled into his role as “peacemaker” without a murmur of protest.
Mrs. Travis pointed out the coatroom. “Patty and I are taking the children to the gymnasium so you’ll have some privacy. Daniel can join us there, if he wants, or you can take him home. Just sign out with Marian before you leave.”
When Jack entered the coatroom, he was struck by a moment of déjà vu. Only a month ago, Daniel had hidden in an SGC storage room to avoid the NID. He had looked exactly like this, knees tucked to his chest as if he could make himself smaller. Maybe Daniel hadn’t changed that much, but Jack sure had. Seeing Daniel vulnerable and hurting made his insides melt. He wanted to scoop up his kid and hug the pain away. Instead, he hesitated near the entrance.
“Daniel?”
“Go away.”
Jack rocked back on his heels. Okay. That was new. Since Daniel’s descension, Jack was used to being the safe haven, the one person Daniel always wanted whenever he was upset or afraid. He wasn’t usually on the receiving end of Daniel’s anger.
“You wanna tell me what’s wrong?” Jack took a step forward.
Daniel lifted his tear-stained face, and the venomous heat of his gaze stopped Jack short. “It’s all your fault.”
“That so?” Jack kept his body posture relaxed. “You mind telling me what exactly so I can fix it?”
“You can’t fix it!” Daniel surged to his feet. He rammed into Jack and shrieked a litany of abuse while he battered at Jack’s thighs with small fists. “I hate you, Jack! I hate you! It’s all your fault. I couldn’t do anything, and it’s all your fault, and now I hate you. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!”
Great, gasping sobs swallowed the words. Daniel collapsed against Jack, shaking on wobbly legs until they gave out beneath him. He slid to the floor at Jack’s feet, still weeping. Jack carefully lowered himself to the floor beside Daniel and pulled the kid into his lap. Daniel clutched at him, burying his face into Jack’s chest. Jack cradled Daniel closer, stroked his fingers through the kid’s hair, and waited out the storm of tears.
Even after Daniel calmed, he didn’t lift his head from its burrow in Jack’s shirt. His explanation was muffled. “I coulda saved him twice.”
“Connor?”
Daniel nodded, smearing tears and snot over Jack’s shoulder. “I coulda catched him after he falled. And I coulda fix-ted his wrist.”
If it hadn’t been clear enough before, the regression of Daniel’s vocabulary was a sure sign of his distress. He only reverted to toddler speech when he was extremely upset.
“But I didn’t cuz I ’membered the rules.” Daniel sniffed a couple times. “It’s not fair. I knowed how to help him, but I couldn’t cuz you said not to. Why’d you make me have rules?”
“You know why, Danny. We talked about this.”
“The Others had rules too.”
Jack’s mouth went dry. It had been weeks since Daniel had mentioned the Others who had punished him for disobedience to their rules. “That was different.”
Daniel drew back so he could look up at Jack’s face. “How is it different? I couldn’t do stuff there, and now I can’t do stuff here. What good is it if I can’t use it?”
“I never said you can’t use it, just that there’s a time and a place.”
Daniel’s face set in a mulish expression. “Why not always and anyplace? The rules are stupid, Jack.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
Daniel blinked, obviously not expecting that answer.
“I set the rules to help you, Daniel,” Jack continued with a shrug. “To give you backup. I figured something like this might happen, and I thought it would be easier if you had something else to blame when you couldn’t do what you wanted. I guess what I’m trying to say here is the rules don’t matter. Not really. In the end, the only thing that counts is your own choice. You decide.”
“Then I coulda--”
Jack touched a finger to Daniel’s lips, shushing him. “Let me finish, okay? Yeah, the choice is yours. What you have to remember, though, is that any action you take has consequences, just like breaking a rule did, and you have to live with those consequences. Take today. If you’d caught Connor before he fell, what might have happened?”
“He wouldn’t have got hurt,” Daniel said with another flash of anger.
“But he would’ve seen what you can do, right?”
Daniel shrugged a shoulder. “I guess.”
“And how do you think Connor would feel about you afterwards?”
“I dunno.” Daniel hung his head, and Jack suspected he did know. He let Daniel think about it for a while. “I guess…maybe he mighta got mad…cuz I can do something he can’t. Or…or he might…he might get scared of me…and not be my friend… And maybe the other kids…they’d be scared too so Mrs. Travis won’t let me come to school no more…and the NID might find out…so I’d hafta stay at the SGC all the time?”
Jack felt two more hot, heavy tears plop onto his hand and wished with all his heart he could erase this day. “That’s right, Daniel.”
“I wouldn’t have liked those consequences,” Daniel whispered. “I guess the rules are okay.”
“Are they?”
Daniel looked up again. “Aren’t they?”
“Even doing nothing has consequences, which is something the Others can’t seem to grasp. Today you did nothing, and as a result, Connor got hurt and you got upset. Every action has consequences, Daniel.”
“Then how do I decide?” Daniel’s tone was frustrated. “How do I know which actions are more better?”
“You practice. Sometimes you’ll get it wrong. That’s the way it is. It helps you decide which consequences are okay and which ones aren’t. That way you figure out what’s good for you. Because what works for someone else won’t always work for you.”
“Why not?”
“There isn’t one right way.” Jack paused, thinking how strange it was to be having this conversation since it was Daniel who had taught Jack, usually through example, that there were many paths to the same goal. “See, when you were an adult, you did things I didn’t like, and I did things you didn’t like. We had to make our own decisions. And sometimes, we had to help each other with the consequences.”
Daniel slumped, snuggling his head against Jack’s shoulder, and asked plaintively, “Is it supposed to be this hard, Jack?”
Jack rubbed Daniel’s back. “It’s part of growing up, kiddo.”
Daniel was quiet for a long moment. His fingers snagged at Jack’s shirt and began kneading the material. To Jack, that action transmitted Daniel’s worry louder than any words.
“I don’t think I’m really a kid, Jack,” he said sadly. “I mean, I know things. Sometimes all the things I know hurts my head. And I can do…stuff.”
“Bad stuff? Or good stuff?” Jack asked, keeping his voice neutral and the up-down movement of his hand steady.
“Both, I guess.”
“I’ve never seen you do bad stuff.” Of course, Daniel had once thrown a chair across a room, with the woman who occupied it still in it, but really, she’d been asking for it. And Daniel hadn’t hurt her.
“I don’t…want to.”
“Why not?” Jack pretended to get excited. “Hey, you’ve got all these super-cool powers. You can do whatever you want.”
“Stop it, Jack. I get what you’re saying.” Daniel uttered a soul-deep sigh. “Whatever I do, I have to live with it. And some prices are too high to pay.”
At that moment, Daniel sounded way too old. He was right. He wasn’t really a kid, no matter what size he was or how much he’d forgotten. His mind was crammed with the Ancients’ knowledge. It was a burden that was slowly stealing the innocence out of Daniel’s second childhood.
Not if Jack had anything to say about it, though. If Daniel needed reminding that life didn’t have to be so solemn and fraught with anxieties, Jack would make it his purpose in life to help Daniel remember that.
“You know what we need? Ice cream.”
Startled by the non sequitur, Daniel lifted his head. “What? Why?”
“I’ve got a brain cramp from all this thinking. Nothing cures brain cramps like ice cream. All the best medical experts know that.”
A smile tugged the corners of Daniel’s mouth. “I thought the medical expert at the SGC said you had to go on a diet. If you eat ice cream, Janet’s gonna be mad.”
Jack paused to consider and then announced firmly, “That’s a consequence I can live with. Chocolate or vanilla?”
“Chocolate, of course.”
The smile finally won, lighting up Daniel’s face. That’s more like it, Jack thought as he and his kid clambered to their feet and headed off to the serious business of ice cream.
